Football Transfer Rumours, Juan Mata to Manchester City

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Today's mill is stroking its whiskered chin.  Once upon a time, there existed a man by the name of Michael Finnegan, famed for his ability to germinate facial hair. And a magnificent example of facial hair it indeed was – you might say that it defined him – but for its deficiency in one crucial aspect, namely that of wind resistance. Perhaps this was only to be expected, as it is frequently gusty in San Francisco, where he lived, and particularly so in the Bay area, where he worked, outdoors, at a job that restarts the very second it ends, namely painting the Golden Gate Bridge. He jumped off.

Adnan Januzaj is yet to sign a new contract with Manchester United. This, apparently, constitutes a "stand-off", to which Manchester City have been "alerted" – along with the entire rest of the world, to whom this information is also freely available. But City are ready to "pounce", in a move that "should add extra spice to the season's first Manchester derby of the season". The two clubs have played each other 165 times, the first of those in 1891. Adnan Januzaj has played for United once, for 23 minutes.

Which isn't that much less time than Juan Mata has been permitted so far this season, the unwitting victim of José Mourinho's one-man quest to destroy football. This, too, has caught Manchester City's covetous eyes, and they plan to buy him in January. Until January, they plan not to buy him.

And another displaced diminutive playmaker may also be moving. After André Villas-Boas signed every man who plays in his position that he could possibly think of, Lewis Holtby has shown rare perspicacity in deducing that Spurs may no longer require his services. Though he is tempted to quit football to focus on the formal-wear retail business that takes his name, his plight has been observed by Internazionale, who are contemplating a January offer.

Elsewhere, and after thrilling us all summer with his desire to leave Borussia Dortmund for Bayern Munich, Robert Lewandowski is back in the news. His agent has spoken to Napoli's chairman, a fact he was eager to share via radio interview, confiding that: "I can tell you that we have recently had contact." But, a man of genuine mystery, intrigue, fascination and captivation, he refused to reveal every riveting detail. "I cannot tell you how long I spoke with Aurelio De Laurentiis. It must remain between us." Oh, them! Oh, how they tease us so, with all their remaining, and all their unspecified period of conversational time.

Back in England, Newcastle are interested in the purchase of Leeds's right-back Sam Byram, not to be confused with his adoptive brothers, Angel Rangel, Gerardo Torrado, Willie Crilley, Nortey Nortey and half-brother, Gakdeniz Karadeniz. Meanwhile, Leeds are contemplating recruiting Luke Dowling as head of recruitment. Dowling has placed more partners in the City than any other consultant of his type, and as such, his signature would represent a major triumph.

Finally, both Arsenal and Liverpool are keen on Schalke's Kyriakos Papadopoulos, but it is now unlikely that he will move to Anfield – though Premier League clubs spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on their own scouts, many also use intelligence gleaned by their rivals. Whenever Arsène Wenger pays heed to a centre-back, all interest in him is immediately abandoned, a fact that cannot have escaped the unfathomably wise Brendan Brendan, who has a friend who went to Harvard. However the move has quashed, once and for all, the notion posited by some that with Arsenal's purchase of the world's best player, unwanted by any of the world's several superior clubs, the transfer market had ended forever. Please do remember poor Michael at this difficult time.